I used to think that I didn't like South Coast Plaza, but this Black Friday taught me that actually I don't like South Coast Plaza sober. After spending a greuling post turkey day hours studying at OC coffee haven Kean, Silman and I headed to the famed hypermallshopertainment complex. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure exactly how we ended up there. I think it was a bit of morbid "look at the car wreck" curiosity and the lefty in me wanted this to turn into an anticapatalist diatribe, but I think I just wanted to beat my brain into a boozy submission in an annoyingly postmodern ironic hipsteresque sort of way.

Lured by the can't-be-beat $1.75 beer of the month at Wahoo's we started on the lesser side of South Coast where the Black Friday crowds were annoyingly small. We wanted to see the chaos, to experience the chaos, to laugh at the chaos. The chaos was essentially non-existant on this side so a pair of beers were required to kickstart the day while waiting for the takeaway taco goodness. The cashier didn't even skip a beat when we ordered double beers but was nice enough to card me, so no complaints here. I was under the understanding that Costa Rican beer was mediocre, but this shit beat out every Corona that's ever been handed my way and was easily on par with the quality that is Pacifico. Ten minutes later and two beers deeper we tromped across the bridge and into the commerce based melee.

First thought: Wow. South Coast is way more deal-with-able with the warm blanket of mild intoxication.

Having not played The OC drinking game in about two years it was almost impossible to NOT shout "DRINK" while pointing at all the awful things that made me fall in love with the first season of The OC. Actually I'm pretty sure that I did shout 'drink' and did point at the various double frilly skirts, oversided italian sunglasses, fake boobs (doubly so if they're attached to someone under 18 or over 45), kids wearing clothes worth more money than i earn after a few days work and all the other things that make me love/hate this place. i'm still shocked that we weren't asked to leave.

the newly ingested tacos were impeding the access of SCP-dealwithable-making booze so we headed to claim jumper's bar to unbeknownstly start the 2006 South Coast pub crawl. while eric tried to mentally seduce (or undress, who can tell?) his latest visual conquest I searched for some eyecandy for myself. perhaps it was too early in the shopping day for this place to be kicking, but claim jumper just wasn't jumpin. we sipped our beers, found a stifler's mom look-a-like and boned out.

more real life oc drinking game as we swam through the crowds.

"Fashionable androgeny! Drink!"
"Hipster jeans! Drink!"
"Dog in a purse! Drink!"
"Too much plastic surgery way too late! Drink!"
"Gold chain snaking through way too much chest hair! Drink!"

Somehow we ended up on the mysterious third floor of South Coast. I didn't even know that this place existed. It was reminiscent of Springfield's elevator to nowhere, because there were no shops in this vertical wasteland and (it seemed) the only way down was via the escalator that we'd just gone up. again, i'm suprised we weren't asked to leave - especially since i'd been asked to leave southcoast in the past for much less serious infractions. i'm even more suprised that neither eric or i didn't seriously injure ourselves or eachother in the process.

We hoofed it over to Z-Tejas and enjoyed beer while pondering the idea of an actual South Coast Plaza pub crawl. For some reason we still hadn't internalized the fact that oh yes, we would be getting drunk tonight, and, oh yes, it would be at South Coast. After heading to the bathroom through the empty restaraunt i was greeted with a freshly poured chamborita (ztejas signature drink: maragrita with some chamborg floated on top). not so bad, especially when free. Whaaa? Free?!

"How'd ya pull this one Eric?""
"Oh, I just told them that you're a writer for the OC weekly."
"What?!"
"Yeah, you're writing about drinking on Black Friday at South Coast"
"Christ..."

So i'd borrowed a pen from one of the bartenderesses and was scribbling notes for my blog anyways, i supposed eric had just gone with that. The girls behind the counter believed him so there we are. I suppose I owe them more of a review that what i've written so here we go:

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The mildly overpriced happy hour beers are made up by cute, friendly and attentive staff at this modern southwestern style restaraunt bar - think chili's, but not trapped in the early 90s. Or perhaps think Chili's, if Chili's were in South Coast. Their wide cocktail selection is skillfully selected by choosing two mains (margaritas and mojitos) and deviating from that base. I was quite impressed by the chamborgarita. By floating the chamborg atop this becamse the first flavored margarita that I've ever tasted that didn't destroy the essential sweet/sour margarita flavor. I can only assume the other drinks are equally tasty.
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Eric stole a pen that I had promised to return....

more later....