yeah yeah yeah, i haven't blogged in ages. well, i did about a week ago, but blogger was hungry and at my posts...

it wasn't meant to be...oh well...

well, i don't have time for a full post now, but this is something someone else posted on a webboard i'm on and it really summizes the way i've been feeling lately...

"What was that line from Human Traffic about how we're no longer together as one, we're all separate mental patients dying to be ejected from this poisoned atmosphere, etc. etc.

I just spent 2 hours and 45 minutes in an 87 Lincoln Towncar with a dude on methamphetamines who kept complaining about this relationship he was in, and then calling the girl like, 8 times and making things worse.

Not that this wasn't without a certain entertainment value.

So, I've got 6,000 posts. Six with three zeroes. I'm going to try to make this one a quality post, rather than just say I've been on here for way too long.

What is it about music scenes where you take people that know each other, and get them involved in destructive relationships based on our most primal sexual urges to flaunt our coolness and have hot, nasty random sex with other witty, urbane fucking hipsters?

It's like we're all children. Giant oversized novelty children with our designer drugs and cellphones and PDAs, or black clothing and spike bracelets, if that's what you prefer. We're all playing house with each other, trying to form meaningful relationships but our gigantic cancerous egos, our pride, our scene points, our reputation, our funny, scene-appropriate pants get in the way.

Get a hold of yourself! Get some therapy! I know you, and I can't be objective and tell you that you're argumentative and think you're right and you let that get in the way of happiness - and it's the same with the person you're dating.

We're all oversized novelty children, cruel as spiteful as anything else on this planet. We're pure selfishness, balled-up into a close approximation of music lovers. But deep down, we can't get over our need to rebel, to assert our independence from society, our shitty jobs, our fucking parents, against our own selves.

Insert some relevant quote from Fight Club here.

We all want the same thing in love. It isn't peace, love, unity, respect, responsibility, tolerance, plentiful acid, or talented musicians. It's bliss. Catharsis. We want to make our lives less fucking horrible.

If you're seriously involved in any local music scene, well, you're just one more person who wasn't dumb enough to jump into the loving arms of whoever after high school. You're doing something different, forging community where there was none. We choose to do something slightly different than blind acceptance of radio music and stadium concerts. You have the rave in the desert, the metal show in some dive bar, the punk show in some guy's basement, the goth kids hanging around a smoke-filled cafe and listening to a clinically depressed DJ not mixing a Bauhaus record.

That's what we do for fun we're all sick, desperate people, and oh boy, the realization is starting to sink in as we grow older and more cynical.

Feel free to throw in another Fight Club quote here. Something about everything falling apart or glass slipper condoms or a literary device based on an old Reader's Digest article. You've earned it.

We're all drawn to people like us, just like us, because we want acceptance of the fact that we're just totally fucked. Since we're running towards people just like us, our self-doubt, our angst, ennui, or any other cool foreign term for emotional upheval or something is reflected in our sex partners, our significant others, or whatever else you want to call them nowadays.

We hate ourselves on some subconcious level.

We find people just like us.

We hate our partners on some subconcious level.

For all of those that have found some close facsimile of True Love, I am proud of you.

That is all."

posted by *CrystalMeth Bunny*